Author Archives: comedyorb

Top 5 Rip Torn Movie Lines

When he’s not robbing banks in upstate Connecticut, Rip Torn is delivering movie lines in memorable fashion. Here are the top 5 Rip Torn movie lines, based both on content and delivery: 5) “My sweet dick, it’s magic!” – as … Continue reading

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How to Beat the Breathalyzer

Whether you’re a Cincinnati Bengal or just John Q. Boozebag, these three simple tricks will keep you drunk behind the wheel…where you belong. Potato Method Ever wonder why some people keep a bag of potatoes in their car? As any … Continue reading

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Tough Lunches of the 21st Century

April 14, 2006 – “Heartbreaker” Location: Bennigan’s Brewhouse & Beefbarn This was when my first wife dropped the bomb on me. We had gone out that day for the Steak & Nearly-Nonstop Salad Bar Special, but the woman didn’t even … Continue reading

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This Has to Stop

Mike O’Malley He’s a chubby, unkempt schlub who wears a baseball cap to hide his shame. How about taking some of that money you spend on sweatpants and buy yourself some hair plugs? Better yet, just stop appearing on television … Continue reading

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Best of: Daily News Headlines

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The Godfather’s Day Off

A Don’s life moves pretty fast…

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The Legend of St. Patrick’s Day

Anybody can pop a can of Schlitz and get blackout drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. But did you know the historical significance of the ‘Irish Holiday?’ A long, long, long time ago- let’s say 1962- Ireland was a gorgeous pastoral … Continue reading

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